Thursday, October 4, 2012

Feeling Heavy

It has been a very long time since I've written. It isn't due to a lack of content, perhaps it's due to too much content. I feel heavy with it and overwhelmed. Where do I start?

The boys are in their second year of preschool. Ronan loves it. William seems to enjoy it once he's there, but he protests going every time I mention it and he doesn't want to be apart from me. They'll be eligible for kindergarten next year. Registration is in January. We need to look at the schools, consider all of our options, and probably enter them in the lottery for the school of our choice, if our choice is not to keep them with our resident school (or to wait another year before enrolling them). With the high cost of pre-kindergarten, I'm not sure that is an option.

They love to cuddle and help me, but they also love to turn every situation into something for playing, including trips to the grocery store or wherever. It's tough to reign them in when they are active in their play, which could be anything and any place. I'm exhausted!

There is also much I'm not sure I want to share. I wonder how much privacy to hold and how much to divulge. I'm not just talking about for myself, but for everyone around me. The boys have their lives to lead, their friends will someday perhaps find all of this information I'm putting out there about them. Maybe even their future employers.

However, this is my form of a baby book, scrap book, and journal, and it's the best way I know of sharing our lives with our loved ones who live so far away. We have had a rough past few months and are trudging through difficult times. 2012 may not be the end of the world, but it is a dark time. With my father dying in the hospital and with our home being burglarized over the summer, I'm trying my best to keep my head up and keep smiling, trying to keep up with these two wonderful boys who need regularity, structure, stability, and optimism in their lives.

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