Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Big Scoop


A mere four days from now it will all be over. The supposed Rapture will have happened in most time zones and we'll either be looking forward to the next phony apocalypse, or down on our knees praying for mercy, provided we're still alive. I'm the fortunate survivor of many apocalypses. There used to be one or two a year, but when it didn't happen in Y2K, doomsdayers started getting tired of being wrong, I suppose, until some folks decided that the Mayans predicted the one in December 2012.

Not to be outdone in the media, Harold Camping set his for May 21, 2011. He has been on this campaign for a few years, but only recently has the word gone global as billboards have been strategically placed and Family Radio missionaries have set out to spread the world. These people believe it so firmly, they have spent fortunes on the advertisements. They have to believe, for they have been taught that to doubt it would mean eternal damnation for them. They are promised an eternal place in Heaven if they dedicate themselves 100% to the cause. Apparently these spots in Heaven aren't as plentiful as most of us have been led to believe. According to Camping, there are only 200 million, and once the Rapture is overdonewithgone, the rest of us will be shut off from the Lord as the gates of Heaven will close for all eternity.

Those left behind are promised a miserable end, with quakes and disaster, which will render our world uninhabitable. We won't miss out on all the fun, though, we'll get to witness Jesus and Satan having a battle that will lead to the end of our world on October 21, 2011.

While some of the Camping followers (the "Scoopees") say they are worried for us (the heathens), I'm among those that are worried for the Scoopees. They have dropped everything: jobs, homes, even family, and have spent their savings on alerting the masses of the big event. If it doesn't happen (okay, I'm giving them a <.000001% chance of it really happening), what are they going to do? Will they drink the special Kool-Aid?

I often wonder about those that seem to really want the world to end. I feel sad that they have such a pessimistic view of the world. While they boast of their high faith in God, what about their faith in man and the Earth that God created? Why do they seem to be okay with their friends, neighbors, and even family members being separated and suffering eternal damnation or perhaps, just eternal death of the soul? They say it will be the End because the world is so full of sin and degradation, that it is because there are very few good moral people left (or as they call them, "elect of God" and I call them "Scoopees").

If they are the "elect," then I think that I would prefer to be part of the rest. If this thing really does happen, I choose to stay behind and help good, moral people to get through it. I choose to hold hands with my loved ones to our destiny, because I am not okay with good people being condemned to eternal flames, just because they were the wrong color, faith, or sexual orientation. The Heavenly Father that I love and believe in is not okay with it, either.

All seriousness aside, I'm having a blast joking about it all. I find doomsday predictions incredibly humorous. We're hosting a BBQ to celebrate, and if it happens, we'll be with good friends and family at 6pm, when the big quake is predicted to occur. I'm glad we'll have notice. I'll probably watch the news before turning in on Friday night (how could I resist the temptation?). If the world starts shaking at the International Dateline, we'll all be down on our knees.

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