Monday, April 7, 2008

Lunch with Debbie

It was so nice to see my friend Debbie again. I haven't seen her in about 2 years. She's looking great (if you're reading this, Debbie, you looked great!). She treated me to lunch at Le Boulanger, a local baker/deli chain.

We went to order, but I really had no clue what I wanted so I asked for suggestions from the person helping us. I explained to the cashier (who happened to be the Assistant Manager, surprisingly enough) that I could have no deli meat, but I didn't want a vegetarian sandwich, either. I wondered if she had anything with cooked meat. She said that everything had deli meat and said they didn't have anything that was cooked. She suggested a salad. Their salads had sliced deli meats in the salad. Yummy, but not good for pregnant women.

She asked if I was on a special diet and I should have told her a simple yes, though I can't think of any special diet other than a pregnancy or vegetarian diet that would exclude deli meat from consumption. I told her the truth, that I am pregnant and that my doctor told me no uncooked deli meat. Big mistake! She then gave me the lecture, "I've had 4 kids and ate deli meat through all 4 pregnancies and all my babies turned out just fine! You can eat deli meat, you should eat deli meat, go on and eat deli meat..." Okay, so after "you can eat deli meat..." I just tuned out. I tried to say to her, "tell that to my friend that lost her baby at 5 months due to a deli sandwich." I tried to tell her that deli meat contains listeria, which pregnant women are very sensitive to, but she wasn't listening. I didn't want to argue, I just wanted a sandwich.

I quickly remembered that they surely could make me a BLT, so that's what I ordered. She tried further to convince me to risk that uncooked deli meat but I told her that a BLT is just fine because the bacon is cooked.

After that, Debbie and I had a really lovely time. We sat for hours and talked. Sometimes our conversation covered some pretty risque topics, which must have been really interesting to the girl sitting on the couch behind us, who was also there for hours. At one point the girl walked up to us and said, "excuse me..." as she looked at us imploringly. Debbie and I both thought she was going to politely ask us to move, shut up, or change our conversation topic to something less offensive. Instead she asked us to watch her stuff while she used the restroom.

A few hours after getting home I got to thinking about the cashier and thought it would be a terrible thing if she encouraged other pregnant women to risk their pregnancies by eating the deli meat. I know it's a rare thing to happen, but it still can cause a miscarriage and even if just one woman has a miscarriage due to bad advice, that's one too many for my liking. So I called the store and talked to the other Assistant Manager. I'm so glad it was her that answered the phone and not the one that helped me earlier in the day! I explained what had happened and I explained it very nicely. I wasn't very upset anymore, I was just concerned.

This woman, her name is Maricella, said she was very aware of the dangers that deli meats posed to pregnant women. She told me that she was pregnant herself and that her health care provider has warned her several times to avoid the deli meat unless it's heated. She was really surprised by my experience and was shocked that her collegue would advise a pregnant woman to ignore medical advice. She offerred me a free lunch, too, for my trouble. She was so sweet.

I asked her when she was due and how things were going (okay, so I got personal, but she was really very nice and I was sincere). She said she was due in June, but she's having problems. It turns out that her little boy's heart isn't developing as much as it should and that he will need surgery as soon as he's born. She said it was so hard when they told her this, not just because this is scary news, but because they gave her the option to abort and that was a big shock to her. She said she talked to her husband and she just didn't have the heart to terminate the pregnancy. She said she had to trust in the Lord and see what happens. She said she has a good feeling about it. I told her I would keep her and her little boy in my thoughts and prayers. If you pray, please try to think of her now and then. She was really sweet.

That's pretty much the only exciting thing to happen to me the last few days, which is nice. I like keeping the stress level low and calm. I'm really concerned about the RSD raising my anxiety levels. A doctor at Kaiser told me that I need to really watch my stress and anxiety levels, because stress and anxiety can actually be passed on to the babies, and they can be born with a predisposition to anxiety disorders. I want happy healthy calm babies. Doesn't everyone?


Mrslady1975 said...

Wow! I can't believe the clerk was lecturing you about eating deli meats. Well, I guess I can since some people seem to think they are always right. I have always been concerned about deli meat, and I am not even pregnant. I tend to heat up my deli meats so they are super hot and can melt my cheese. I hope you are feeling good. BTW, I love their (la B's) curry soup! ;) Em

karenf said...

Hi there, aren't you glad you called back to the sandwich place? You made a friend, and you probably made her day.

Stress, it's easy to say your going to stay calm, but 4 or 5 months in when certain hormones kick in, you end up ranting about the dirty plate on the table, and the ring on the coffee table. Not that you want too, and not that you will even notice ( I didn't until way after and Will gave me the low down..) it just happens. Your babies will be fine.

I posted a picture in your honor in my Flickr stream. I had the shot for over a year, but it fianlly applies, not only to you, but other women who go through different hardships in life. I hope you like it.